


Choose Your Ending

by LigeiaMaloy



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-05
Updated: 2016-08-05
Packaged: 2018-07-29 15:06:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7689217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LigeiaMaloy/pseuds/LigeiaMaloy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Garrus refuses to believe Shepard died the day she destroyed the reapers. He is right.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Choose Your Ending

**Author's Note:**

> This is a collab between [commander-hot-pants](http://commander-hot-pants.tumblr.com/) on tumblr and me. She provided the art, and we agreed on "Shakarian, post-me3, angst on the Crucible".
> 
> You can find this [story on tumblr here.](http://masseffectmayhem.tumblr.com/post/148517288711/choose-your-ending)
> 
> And because I'm mad I wrote two fics for the same prompt (different approach, more angst): [Recursive Return](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7689154)

 

Metal ground against metal, the screeching noise piercing through Garrus’ brain and down his spine. His head jolted up. The ceiling above them had sagged yet again. The moment it would break, the last enclosure would be destroyed, and the gravity would turn into space’s deadly vacuum.

“Shepard!” His hand clenched around her wrist. So small and fragile, it frightened him. If only her strongest self were here to back him up while he was holding her when she was at her weakest.

“Shepard!” he repeated, louder this time, his voice vibrating through the room. He sent a silent prayer to the Spirits when she opened her eyes.

“I’m here, big guy.” She smiled through clenched teeth. “Can’t leave you alone with my corpse, can I?”

“You know I’m always in for a good joke in hard times, but this might be the exception to the rule.” Their fingers intertwined, with his free hand, he tried to remove the crust of dust and blood from her face.

“Figures. You’ve never been comfortable with rules.” She sighed, half-closing her eyes. She was leaning against Garrus, her head resting against his chest. His heart was pounding in a stubborn rhythm as if it wanted to force hers to follow suit.

The walls around them creaked again, reminding two lost lovers of a truth neither of them wanted to face. It was only a matter of time until this room fell apart like the rest of the Crucible, and with it, their hope for a happier ending.

“Miracles happen, but they never last long, Garrus.”

“They don’t have to. As soon as the Normandy arrives we don’t need miracles anymore. Damn, what takes Joker so long?” He glanced at his omni-tool, tempted to activate it and to light a fire under Joker’s scrawny ass. For that, he had to let go of her hand and her hair. Ticking the Normandy’s pilot off wasn’t worth it.

“Garrus…” Shepard tried to sit up, flinched, and gave up. Pain teased her with its cruelty, assuring her that as long as she could feel there was mobility left in her body, but at the same time forbidding her to use it. The jolts through her spine weren’t just uncomfortable, something the soldier in her would ignore. A wrong move would end the little extra time she was given.

“We’ll get you out of here. EDI alone can free you from this scrap metal. Well, not that I wouldn’t love to help her, but I’m too busy holding my commander’s hand.” He wanted to chuckle but croaked, the words turning into a pathetic cough, but he was holding her hand, and nothing would stop him from doing so until the universe collapsed around them.

“Garrus,” she tried again, her voice gentle and grotesquely happy. “We’ve pushed our luck so hard. Whatever is happening to me, knowing you’re alive and well is a gift.” His hand tightened around hers.

“I’m well because you’re alive. If that’s a gift I’m not giving it away.”

“You’ve always been stubborn, big guy. That’s one reason why I love you.” She wanted to laugh but feared her lungs wouldn’t let her. After all, they had endured, she refused to choke to death in Garrus’ arms. “Do you want to hear the others? Some of them are naughty.” Grinning didn’t hurt.

“Tell me when we’re back on the Normandy. Although I fear Dr. Chakwas has a few thing to tell you as well, once she got her claws into you. And Liara, and Tali, and-”

“Please, Garrus. Don’t do this to yourself.” The feverish hope in his voice and face hurt more than her spine. It was so tempting to fall for his dream, to believe in the impossible. This wasn’t just Garrus, this was Archangel, who had refused to mourn and challenged Omega instead, drunk with hope and desperate optimism. Desperate and hopeful enough to gain followers who would give their lives for him. He knew how it ended once, an experience that had almost killed who he really was. She loved the Garrus who ignored the odds, she hated the thought she wouldn’t be there to catch him when reality crushed him.

“Shepard, the galaxy doesn’t need a martyr. Frankly, with the reapers and Cerberus gone, it can even do without Commander Shepard for a while. But I can’t. I need you alive. I told you to return alive. I’m not taking that one order back.”

“And I wish I could pay you back for the insubordination. Please, let me touch your face.” If only she could laugh. But all she could do was smile when Garrus raised her hand to his face and held it close. The rough surface, small cracks, and scars, the surprising warmth coming from the skin and flesh under his plates. His mandible twitched under her fingertips. After all that happened, she was still able to feel him, and an intoxicating happiness filled her worn body and soul.

“Garrus, I’ve escaped death so often when I shouldn’t have. Maybe that’s really it this time. And we’re given the chance to say goodbye without reapers chasing us. A few moments of peace and quiet, just for us, before it’s over. Please, I don’t want to let go alone.” Sadness, happiness, sometimes, they blurred into one overwhelming emotion she couldn’t name or explain.

“We’re not letting go, we’re returning together. Screw this, what’s with this stupid idea that legends have to be dead? Why is everyone so convinced we can’t have a happy end? Dammit!” Grief was breaking through the wall of hope he was struggling so hard to build around them. He was trembling, his teeth were grinding so hard she feared the muscles of his jaws would snap.

“I’m so sorry, Garrus,” she breathed. Maybe, if she stopped speaking, she’d last a little bit longer. She was tired, in pain, and ready to follow the last beckoning every soldier was prepared to follow one day. But she’d stay for as many moments as were left in her, for him, and listen to his voice and his heartbeat.

“Three’s a charm, isn’t that what you humans like to say? First the collectors, then the destruction of the Crucible. Fate owes you. And forgive me my bluntness, but I’ve seen some of Cerberus’ records of the Lazarus Project. You were in a damn worse state when they brought you back.” He chuckled and bent down. His rough mouth brushed over her forehead, a feeling as soothing as touching his face. He was right. She didn’t feel anything below her waist, which probably was a blessing. Her hips and legs were buried under parts of the Crucible. She hadn’t been able to free herself, Garrus wasn’t able to dig her out on his own as well. But her heart was beating, her brain worked, she breathed. That was a better starting point than being burnt to human-shaped charcoal, wasn’t it?

“Keep talking,” she urged him on. Even if he only babbled to keep up the lies he was telling himself, his optimism was contagious. The moment Shepard joined the Alliance she was willing to give her life, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t willing to live. Hell, since she met Garrus she was willing to live more than ever. A future together - when facing the reapers with more reapers on her heels she had refused to hope. But now? She had nothing to lose.

“Look, Shepard, it’s been two days. Others would have bled to death. Damn, others wouldn’t have survived that damn explosion. I’m holding you, and we’re talking, that’s proof enough to me. Sorry, love of my life, but you’re going to survive and grow old with me. I mean, only if you want to, of course. I don’t want to assume too much,” he added quickly. His fingers were fidgeting with the endearing awkwardness that made her realize she felt more for him than friendship and physical attraction.

“Please, assume! Tell me what else you’re assuming.” She had no doubt she wanted everything he was hoping in this stubborn head of his. If she could only believe she was receiving another chance. As long as he was talking to her, she felt closer to him than to death, but what if this was nothing but wishful thinking…?

“Well, I’m no fool. It’s not going to be easy. You’ll have to take your time to fully recover. And it doesn’t need a smart guy like me to imagine the press buzzing around you like seeker swarms! But I’ll be by your side and help you to get away from them. Shepard, we can manage everything together, as long as we don’t give up!” He was clinging to her, begging her, begging fate to stop torturing him, to let her keep her now he got her back.

“No Shepard without Vakarian.” She lacked the words to tell him how much she loved him, a smile was all she had. His mandibles fluttered, revealing his teeth for a second, forming the happiest smile he could return.

“No Shepard without Vakarian.” He nodded, and she believed him. She wanted to tell him to talk more to her but  lost herself in his loving blue eyes. A signal from Garrus’ omni-tool ended the moment.

“Say what you want, I know he does that on purpose. I’ll make it short.” He gave her hand another squeeze before he let go to answer the call.

“Dammit, Joker, what’s taking you so long?” he snapped, but he couldn’t fool Shepard or Joker. He had never been so glad to hear the pilot’s voice.

“Love you, too. Sorry to be late to the party, maybe we’d been there sooner if you had left a note where you’re going before you stole a shuttle while we were still repairing the Normandy. Or, you know, you could have told us right away about your plan.”

“A man’s got to do what a man’s got to do,” Garrus spoke firmly, his chin lifted, his shoulders pulled back.

“Yeah, yeah, save that testosterone for her. EDI and Tali are on their way and should arrive at your position in a few minutes.”

“Good. And, ahem, thank you, Joker.”

“Same, Garrus, for everything. She’s our friend, too, you know.” Joker’s voice lost its sarcasm, and Garrus thought he felt him smiling on the other side of the channel.

“Yeah. I’m sorry. I’ll apologize in person when we’re back.” He shut the comm channel and the omni-tool down.

“Did you hear, they’re here soon! Only a few more minutes, Shepard.” With a wide grin, he looked at her smiling face.

“Shepard?”


End file.
